Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life Paperback – Bargain Price, September 12, 2004

This book gave me the voice I needed in my toxic relationship with an emotionally and mentally manipulative man. For nearly a year and a half in this relationship, I felt myself falling into depressive states fueled by anxiety and resentment on a roller-coaster of highs and lows. I had no idea what was happening, I only knew it was a toxic relationship and I was losing myself more and more without understanding why or how. I had been extremely reluctant to end the relationship up until now because I needed answers out of fear of repeating this type of relationship again. Honestly, this book was an answer to my prayers. It has helped me understand his "games" of manipulation and the darker side to his personality. It was a crucial piece to learning more about myself and how I was susceptible to caring for a man who I really didn't even like for so many reasons yet felt trapped in a relationship with him. The work on myself (boundaries) that needs to be done has just begun while his core issues that need to be handled are finally coming into light. Obviously, he was acting out of fear and insecurities but that doesn't justify bad behavior or having a lack of self control. It's very empowering to identify so completely with a book that helps you feel sane again and to comprehend what is actually happening is a form of abuse. Living with such a man is about as close to insanity as one can feel. Having the strength to leave takes more than courage and willpower, it takes having the power of knowledge to comprehend what can and can not be fixed within a relationship. I highly reccommend this book to anyone trying to remove the "smoke and mirrors" from their relationship. Stop feeling crazy and depressed, and don't be driven to be someone you're not...read this book!!!

This book is a definitive guide (for me) that discusses how and why I have been attractive to narcissistic types as well as fearful-avoidants. A practical look at both sides of manipulation and why the dance continues. Most importantly are the tools to change. I have the insight and the courage. Now I have the map. Highly recommend for anyone who needs it.

Excellent, useful book, but repetitive. Gives concrete information and examples to identify what manipulation is, the corrosive effects of what it does to relationships, and most importantly, how to stop it. The information is concise, specific, eye-opening, valuable and empowering. Great resource for people who are seeking more autonomy, authenticity and assertiveness in their lives. This is a worthwhile read for anyone, but it will be particularly beneficial to women. Culturally, as women, we are often socialized to be agreeable, accommodating and nice, subsuming our needs in favor of others. We are uniquely vulnerable to manipulators because we have been schooled by society and familial norms that seem to sanction these behaviors. For anyone on a journey of self-discovery looking for more personal freedom in their interactions, this book is a good place to start.

This is the first self-help book I have read cover to cover and in only 2 and 1/2 days. Best book to help one over come the vicious cycle of manipulation. I really felt I was the only one going through something like this with a relative whom offered me a place to stay rent free so I could focus on school only to find myself taking medications to overcome the stress and anxiety this individual was causing me. When I confronted her the few times before I read this book, she would point the finger at me and tell me that I can only cause my own stress and anxiety and that I was the one who was sick. I started to believe these things and my personality changed over time, not to mention my self-esteem declined and I felt I was walking on eggshells. In only 2 1/2 days, all of my worries and beliefs that maybe I was the crazy one subsided. I am scared to death to confront this person and move out but I feel like I have so much more strength to actually do it and I feel like my old self is back and I am already much happier. Great read! It has true stories and scenarios and examples of how to confront the person and what to say and how to say it, as well as, the different types of manipulators you may encounter and there tactics...I will definitely recommend this book to others!

After reading countless books in the hope of finding out how to get through to a person who is, and remains,, totally stuck in a certain mindset, along comes Harriet Braiker with a simply brilliant answer. The answer is, "I must change me. I cannot change him. I never will. Realize I never will". And then she explains exactly how that person came to be the way he or she is, and how I keep perpetuating the problem by being what I am and doing what I do. Because I now know all this, I can start dealing with the problem which is My problem, and Ms. Braiker teaches the fundamentals on how to do just that. It is easy to see that this will work in any kind of relationship, whether you are a man or woman, in a marriage, on the job, in your school.After many decades of being married to an Asperger with paranoia/narcissism, I have now tried the author's suggestions for the past month. To my amazement, it produces an instant change. I can see the changes happening throughout the closer family. I know I would like to write a follow-up here when I have tried this longer. It will take some practice.

Item as described.